So, there’s this little store I like to go to, just a few blocks away. I only discovered it a few weeks ago and I’m a fan. Yesterday, I witnessed something unusual, something I haven’t seen in many years… something that got me thinking. Here’s the story.

The shop owner is a wonderful Indian gentleman, we’ll call him Rajish, and he works with either his not very experienced much younger brother (they kinda look alike) but then, he could be the son or the nephew.. who knows, not important.

So I walk in there today and my Indian friend is in the corner chair, relaxed and completely oblivious to the fact that his son/brother/nephew ( I gotta ask him some day) … is struggling with an uncooperative cash register.

Being first in life and seeing all the people behind me, I was starting to get a little agitated, and trying hard not to show it, wondering why customers were having to wait in a long line when the store owner Mr Rajish himself was relaxed in a cozy chair, seeming totally oblivious that we had things to do and places to go. And just in case you’re wondering, he was totally awake, like a distant observer. I know that because at one point, he couldn’t stand the noise from the cash register keys his partner was punching…. “Hit the clear button” he said, without moving an eyebrow. It worked.

I wanted to buy more stuff but it’s one of those places where everything is behind the shelf or under the glass counter. For the sake of the waiting customers, I decided to do everyone a favor and limit my purchases. They did not look like they needed any favors from me. The struggling young man behind the counter was more than willing to keep showing me stuff as others waited and his dad/brother/uncle savored his cozy chair in the corner.

Just before I headed out, my memory was jogged. I remembered this scenario very well. It was common when I lived in Nairobi. One look at the clock and I got it. It was lunch time. Mr Rajish was on his lunch break and no number of customers or a temperamental cash register were going to interrupt his time for relaxation…. his alone time. His ability to tune out was marveling

I also noticed something else. The only person in the store who seemed concerned about Mr Rajish’s unusual behavior was me. Everybody else was just as relaxed, as calm and as unconcerned with the long line and the uncooperative cash register as was Mr Rajish, which brought me to my third and final epiphany. These were his regular customers, I’m just the new kid on the block who’s too used to hurry and rush but Mr Rajish’s customers know him and he’s obviously “trained” them to respect his alone time, stay calm and wait for their turn.

Even though Mr Rajish could have left his cozy chair and attended to the waiting customers so he could make everybody happy, he couldn’t be bothered. He’s has obviously learned two key things that most of us entrepreneurs have yet to master.

1. You teach people how to treat you. If you’re doing business especially online, the distractions you have to deal with are endless. Besides the constant need to fetch beverages from the kitchen, there’s phone calls, emails and skype chats, ringing, dropping in and beeping, and yet most of us have never mastered the discipline to ignore them and focus on income generating activities. And what makes it worse is that we have trained those who are calling, emailing or skipping, that we’re at their beck and call, any time they want to interrupt us for a friendly chat or questions that can obviously wait. And because people expect what they’ve always gotten, whenever they feel like calling in, they expect us to answer and when we do, we reinforce that same behavior and give them permission to continue interrupting us.

2. When it’s time for a break, it’s time for a break. Mr Rajish has not only trained his customers to respect this alone time, he has also mastered the art of tuning out and being alone with this mind even in the midst of chaos, completely relaxed and undeterred by waiting customers. What struck me most though was just how oblivious he seemed to be about the long line of waiting customers. I couldn’t do it. At least not before today. I would worry that I’m going to offend my customers and drive them away but looking at Mr Rajish’s shop, I bet he’s doing pretty well for himself as there seem to always be customers going in and out and the store is stocked top to bottom.

So, what lessons can we learn from Mr Rajish.

1. Teach people how to treat you. If you want your family, friends and business partners to respect your working hours, well, act like it. Don’t complain of interruptions when you’re encouraging them by picking up the phone, responding to non emergency emails (those don’t even exist) or keeping your skype window open and responding to all the incoming chats that definitely don’t qualify for emergency.

2. Take a freaking break and mean it. If it’s break time, whether that’s when you have your lunch or just sit like Mr Rajish and relax in a cozy chair; honor it. Do it with no guilt whatsoever, ignore everything and everyone who dare interrupt your alone time. When you come to think of it, there are very very few emergencies in life. Unless someone is unconscious or bleeding, it’s probably not an emergency and more so if it has anything to do with email or skype chats.

Things can wait, phone calls can wait, that’s why voice-mail was invented. All these interruptions can wait another hour , another day, while you focus on some productive activities or just let yourself go on the couch or wherever it is you like to relax.

And in closing, let’s not forget that we can’t be all work and not play, a sin that I am definitely guilty of. When it comes down to it, Life Is NOW. We all like to plan and dream and strive through life so we can achieve and acquire, but we often forget that life in a nothing but a chain of moments called NOW.

NOW is all we’ve ever had, have and ever will have. So, let’s all join Mr Rajish in learning to tune out and not be bothered when it’s time to do exactly that. People will get used to it.

Now, walk away from your screen and join me for a 10 minute selfish break.

When you’re back, here’s the final lesson.

3. Don’t solve every damn problem. No I’m not talking about your own problems but the many that land on your desk from all angles, mainly from new and inexperienced online or network marketers you may be coaching or mentoring. I’ve been to Mr Rajish’s store many times and the young man in there seems to always be struggling with something. Either he can’t work out the cash register or he can’t figure out the price of something. And you know what Rajish does about it? Nothing. He just stands there and let’s him figure it out.. which at first I didn’t appreciate but I now have come to appreciate the wisdom that this man has.

Mr Rajish knows that if he steps in every time his helper gets stuck, the poor newbie will never learn anything. He will remain dependent and incapable of solving problems by himself. So, Mr Rajish lets his sweat…. which is sometimes funny to watch. Somebody taught this man some good S#it. I have personally witnessed the destructive folly of taking someone by the hand and doing everything for them or offering solutions to every problem people encounter. Truth is, you’re either an entrepreneur or you’re not, there is no middle ground. And if someone is a true entrepreneur, they will figure it out. That’s what an entrepreneur does best…. figuring s#it out. I’ll reserve that for the next blog post.

The thing to remember is that when you’re too accessible, too nice, too eager to help, you end up crippling the person you’re trying to help instead of empowering them by requiring that they learn some skills and learn to solve problems independently.

I think it’s time to wrap this post.

Sponsored by MarketingMakeoverGenerator.Com

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!